
Good Old Bob & Those Stupid Ass Liberals
Bob gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Bob gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast: bacon and eggs. Bob's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate them eat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Bob reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some cry baby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Bob dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Bob begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Bob's employer pays these standards because Bob's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.
If Bob is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a workers compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noon time and Bob needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Bob's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Bob's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Bob has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Bob and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.
Bob is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal (FDR) stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, quiche-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Bob wouldn't have to.
Bob gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show.The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. Bob agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives!After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
6 comments:
Can Bob come fix my toilet??? I need a cinnabon to flush my logs properly since the damn tree huggers regulated my crapper to 1.6 gal per flush!!!! I long for the days of old when my granny's old pooper used about 4 or 5 gallons on every cycle and you could dump a 20 pound bag of top-soil in there and it would all flush the first time!!!!
And..the other side, because of some liberal commie Dem. we have NAFTA where upon the industries can move their businesses to another country and get the stuff made for 10cents, thereby ruining all the liberal union work at getting decent wages here. And you get stuff from China that sucks!
Not to mention the ACLU who would defend the student at VTech for his privacy rights so he can stay in school and become an idiot.
A1 (aka Lane!): Actually, the toilets were originally 3.5 gallons ;-). The total volume of water makes little difference in the power of the flush, the size of the trap that controls the amount of water that can flow thru at once allows for a more powerful flush. Try toilet with a 3" trap (rather than the standard 2") such as a Toto G-Max or Kohler Cimerron (aka "cinabun") if you're not happy with your current set-up.
A2: Though NAFTA was passed in the Clinton administration, it was due to the Republican congress. The democratic congress and senate members strongly opposed NAFTA. Which party do you think the billionaire corporate elitist that own and run these companies that farm off their work to impoverished countries for pennies on the hour belong to???
If Clinton voting in favor of NAFTA means all Democrats support it must mean that all Republicans like to have sex with men in Minnesota airport bathrooms.
The ACLU? Imagine your world without it. What happens if the day comes that Christianity isn't the majority religion in the US? Will you support praying the Hanafi to Allah every afternoon instead of your usual coffee break? Or your local schools taking sausage pizza and BLT's off the menu because the split hoof?
Now I know what yall were taking
about ...toilet person was funny.
red neck republican was slightly off key. Anyhow, its good to get
replies , at least you know someone is reading!! Go Clemson Tigers!
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